At a meeting, in a badly airconditioned conference room I realise what I thought was a pretty a-okay preparation should’ve had a different direction. The meeting was not what I initially thought it would be about but I still decide to go for the creative, new-thinking direction I prepared for.
Thoughts like, “I’m such an imposter, when will they call me out? Why should my word have such a big impact? When will they know?” are running through my mind
As I begin expanding my thoughts, research and results, slowly but steadily, I see minds changing. I notice how I’ve manage to point in a direction they never even thought of possible. After, as I was de-breathing (pon intented) at my desk, I just couldn’t stop smiling.
I get such a rush out of knowing and experiencing how the knowledge I dug up, can guide others in a completely different direction and maybe even end with a better outcome.
After 2 years of applying for jobs, freelancing and temporary solutions after University, with an aditional year being in a job-position that was okay, but never challenging, I finally got a chance getting my first Uni-applicable Job. I ended up somewhere creative, flexible and open for new opportunities.
Everyday, I find myself committing to “fake it till you make it” and every day, I somehow manage to leave work with a feeling of having contributed to something. Done something.
Slowly, from not believing that anyone could ever need my services and abilities, to the fact that I now more than ever trust that if not in this – maybe even more in the next.
This journey has been one amazing learning curve. I’ve learned so much about myself, the work-environment I thrive in the most, and what I can do. I’ve gained competencies, I just a year ago never dreamed I vould achieve (and btw preparing me for those applications I never had a shot at straight out of UNI).
But most of all, I’ve learned that dreams are rarely lived out from the moment I decide it to. It takes work getting there. Sometimes it’s the weirdest way one gets to be prepared for the one thing one wants to do.
I still want to go to the Middle East. That is still in my scope, and while I in the beginning couldn’t see how I would get the competencies I seemed to need, now I’m in a very different position where I might have a shot!
To me “faking it” meant realising I had no clue, speak out that I didn’t know but would love to learn and act on it.