Mona Eltahawy published in 2015 the rather interesting and provocative book, Headscarves and Hymens: Why the Middle East Needs a Sexual Revolution. A personal tale of the double standards she met and the personal battles she had had with Islam and its view on the women. Mostly, the book is written within the aspects and fights of feminism and the authors understanding of such in the Middle East.

I wouldn’t call myself a feminist. Despite the fact that I do believe a woman can do, and should be able to do, whatever is in her scope of succeeding with. My own view of a woman is that she is beautiful. She contains many wonders. Much strength. And that she is capable of so much more than what we all initially thinks – including the women themselves. I have had the pleasure to meet many impressive women. My grandmother is one of the women that keeps surprising me. Her strength to keep doing, believing and act the way she believes to be the ultimate truth, impresses me time and time again.

This book focuses on The Middle Eastern woman. It describes the obstacles women face in a patriarchal world, where men are the head of the family and women are considered to be machines only to bring children to the world and to take care of them. The book is a necessary contribution to stir and discuss how we consider women in the Middle East. It do put up important questions as to where the Western politicians alliance lay. And I love how it provoked my else firm understanding of the woman in the Middle East.

Unfortunately, I find that it more than once generalises and speaks into the world of women, she doesn’t necessarily know anything about. She keeps talking about the hypocrisy of the Western world. How they close their eyes towards the Saudi Arabian view on and treatment of women. The thing is that the book is missing a layer of understanding. Not that this would in any way be an excuse for ignoring the problems, but could be an explanation to the Western world’s treatment of the issue. The lack of the overall political layer unfortunately cripples the else interesting subject the books puts forward into the light.

In another example she talks about women in Islam, Judaism and Christianity. That all women under any of these religious affiliations are suppressed by men and a patriarchal worldview. First and foremost it is problematic to write in a tone, in which one expresses that no one should meddle in this, when one points a judgemental finger towards other religious affiliations, one doesn’t seem to know that much about. It almost seems as if, in her view, that her epiphany should destroy every other women’s religious affiliation. The thing is that I am sitting as the receiver of her message thinking, “Hey, I made my own choice. I understand that you felt forced into making yours. But I wasn’t. I chose to become a Christian. I chose to live the way I do. Not because some man stood with a judging mindset towards my female presence and told me to cross my legs and be virtuous”. As a matter of fact I made my choice in a country where I will be viewed as radically different from the norm. It seems to me that Mona Eltahawy describes a situation where being and acting like a Muslim woman is the same as being a part of what in that part of the world is considered the norm. I am not saying that her situation isn’t awful and that we should keep our eyes closed to what for some is a problem. I am saying, that in her mission to spread the word about a hypocrisy that needs attention, she drags along women that isn’t necessarily a victim of the fight. In that, she almost drowns the real victims that needs attention with women that doesn’t.

I remember the moment I decided that I wanted to study religion and religious affiliation. I was in the bazaar of Jerusalem. Standing in the middle of the welter of people that negotiated prices. People discussing. People eating. On my right side, a Muslim man walks proudly towards me. He doesn’t notice anything. His walk reveals a proud mind. Behind him a woman, his wife, is walking, almost running with what almost seemed as an abundance of children swarming around her, demanding her every attention. On my left, a Jewish man comes walking towards me. He doesn’t notice anything in front of him. Not because he seems proud of himself. But his sole attention is to the beautiful woman on his left. He doesn’t care about the world, but looks with wonder. With pride. With amazement. With respect towards the woman he has with him on his right. Since I have learned how religious doctrines are differently interpreted. Unfortunately, Mona Eltahawy does not seem to have understood the same.

From my academic understanding, the problem of having a religious affiliation is only when one person through one’s religious understanding limits the freedom of others. Others who didn’t necessarily chose this worldview. And herein, lies the difference between the religiosity I see emerging in most cases in for instance Denmark, as opposed to the one that lives in some areas where it is a limitation for people who did not chose the affiliation they are “being governed by”.

As black and white things seems to be in this important contribution of a book written for Mona, that is not how black and white the world initially are. Religion is not necessarily a bad thing. It is important to underline and fight for Women’s Rights – but not to forget that there is also the right to belief and other human rights to underline and fight for, which are equally as important.

Share

I am passionated about meeting everyone equally. Despite differences. Despite diverse worldviews. I’ve written about this before in the blog “A religious affiliation = A radical worldview?“, where I discuss the fright of religion that seems to be inflicting the Danish society. However, time and time again I meet “those people”. Those people who almost give me that sight look of disgust, when learning that I do believe in something higher than myself. I believe in a higher, intelligent power who created us all. I haven’t found any other explanation for the ultimate creation of this world. Why I am here.

I haven’t found any other explanation for all the crazy things that have happened in my life, which all bare the witness of someone watching out for me.

Now, this does not mean that you cannot talk to me as you do with any other normal human being. It does mean that I would love it if you came to the same conclusion as I. Because, fact is, this is what I believe to be the ultimate truth and I want any of my non-religious friends along with me.

What kind of a believer would I be, if I didn’t want everyone of my family, my friends or my friends boyfriends or girlfriends to see and ultimately believe what I do so that everyone of them could be saved?

It wouldn’t be in the line of the love, compassion and charity I have experienced from the God I believe in. Think about it. Don’t you think, that the world would be better of, if everyone in the world was convinced of the very thing you find to be the ultimate truth to be true? Then what is wrong, when I think in the same line of thought about the religious worldview I affiliate with? This is truly my inner argument when I meat someone I know not to be the believer I am. Not that I want to tell everyone how they should live their lives. I kind of just want to bring them in front of God, and let him about that.

This obviously mean, that when meeting me, you probably wouldn’t have guessed that I am a believer. You probably would think of me as a common woman with a common mind and life as the norm dictates. It is only when you take the time and patience of going past the layers of masks of how I want you to see me, that I will reveal that to you – and the side people would call lunatic. Because, I know what you might think. I know what most would think of me. I know the arguments. The discussions we would have. I am not sure if you see my predicament. On the one hand, I want the world to be saved. On the other, I want to be able to actually co-exist with people who don’t see the world as I do. In common respect and to be met equally.

Unfortunately, that is not the case. In the world we have today, society dictates a fright of religion and those who follow a religious worldview.

People like me are pressured under the falls pretences that we force upon others a worldview and a way of life. Thus, I am being looked down upon. Being considered lower than anyone else. Only because I do not follow the religion of the norm: Either to believe that there is no God or to believe in science as the only thing explaining the big questions. But if I am to respect you – aren’t you supposed to respect mine as well? If I am to listen to your worldview? Why is it you should under no circumstances to listen to mine?

I might be alien to you and it might seem like I just want to force a worldview upon you. Truthfully, I do not. But, again, what kind of a human being would I be, if I did not want to share the greatest treasure I have ever found with you? So don’t be scared. Don’t reject me as a mer worldview forced upon you. See it for what it really is: Compassion. And stop this ridiculous scare of religion.

Share